2013 SoCal Regional

Regionals 2013

I have said it before to a few. I am unaware of why I do the Crossfit Open and why I continue on to compete at regionals all well knowing I will not make the top 3. It is a love hate relationship, one that tests my mental state more than anything physical. Competing in Crossfit has nothing to do with anyone else but me.

I hate to lose, I hate to finish 2nd, or 3rd and obviously last. With that thought I find it hard to understand why day in and day out I put so much focus on making myself stronger, fitter, and more mobile; because anyone that REALLY attempts to do that understands that it is a full-time commitment, not just 60-90' a day. But why go at it? Why go into competition knowing you do not have it? I asked myself a lot going into the 2013 Reigonal. I had a lot of change on my plate. I helped open a gym, legal matters that ensued, my mental state was off, and most of all I woke up at 230am everyday, 7x/week I was up at 230am without the ability to go back to sleep. This began 3.5 weeks prior to the weekend of SoCal regionals. Fatigue and sleep deprivation make cowards of us all, but the severity of that fatigue and sleep dep. and how we respond to it, are what define as individuals. 

I compete because it brings recognition to the gym I represent. I compete because it tests my mental state. I compete because there is an odd camaraderie shared between special people. Being an alpha male and knowing you aren't putting your best foot forward is a hard pill to swallow. In 2012 I finished 13th, and prior to my sleep issues my goal was to crack the top 10, which I felt was not out of reach. However, barley even being able to train a few times a week let alone attempt to get a double day in there prior to the event, led me to hope to be able to even warm up, let alone compete at a high level. I had trained all year, went to bed early, trained hard and smart, to lead me 4 weeks out of the competition to not sleep. It was an interesting situation, at one point I was going to opt out of it. Why do it? Why show up to something knowing I won't be able to do my best? I was throwing in the white towel. Before the towel left my hand I was convinced that it wasn't about how everyone perceived my best foot, I was brought back to reality and had to re-learn that this competition is about self-discovery. To discover how I react to adversity. Adversity was an understatement and on Saturday I found myself in the final heat with some of the top Crossfit athletes in the world. Sunday came and the lack of sleep had caught up to me; I had little energy, not enough to warm up and compete so I felt at the time not warming up would save some energy for the actual events. Thats what I did and fell down the rankings which is fine, and going into the final event my goal was just not to kill myself climbing the ropes. I didn't die, ha ha which is good, but holding onto that rope was incredibly difficult, cleaning 225 felt like a chore more than a warm up. I gave that weekend my all, and I hope despite my 25th place finish that I represented my community well. I did my best, which was 'worse'. I hated and loved every second of it. The people that supported me, that talked to me on the phone at 3am, that did everything they could made it an experience I'll never forget. 

2014 will be a great time and I can't wait to get back. I have decided to post on a daily basis, some with writings some with just the days training.