1st post back home.

This is the first time I have written since moving back ‘home’ to California. It was weird to drive to Fort Worth, Odessa, El Paso, Tucson, Phoenix, and FINALLY, Orange County. There was a lot of ‘inbetweens’ and in between those ‘inbetweens’ there was a lot of nothing. All that existed was truckers, my sleeplessness, coffee, and my U-Haul. I had a great time living in Texas, and met some GREAT people, some of whom I will call my friends for the rest of my life, however, I soon realized that the majority of people will be people and they will only look out for themselves and no one else.

Loyalty is a big thing with me, honesty goes along with it, and attempting to work for a group of people that have no aspirations for honesty or care for their clients (in a gym) creates moral issues with me. To own a specialized gym and tout yourself as a business that promotes better health, making people stronger mentally and physically, and have work meetings where the main topic is how much clients can afford and would be willing to pay to have fun is not ok in my book.  Yes, Crossfit is a business; however the business is to make people better inside and out of the gym. It forces/teaches hard work, discipline, and a sense of community. You can tell the bad gyms from the good ones in that the athletes themselves never progress, and the coaches themselves are sub par athletes.

My goal is not to be on a soap box. I without a doubt have lied before, but the people that I consider friends, will never ever have a filter. Issues will arise, but will be brought to light and dealt with. Not an ambush brought upon by weak, spineless individuals, which I felt were some of the people I worked for.

It became hard to get excited for work. My drive to make people better went downhill after I was told that it did not matter if people became fitter or better humans; all that mattered was that they had fun and felt like they got a workout.

I am sorry, but I mentally could not deal with that on a day to day basis, constantly telling clients that they were getting better. Let’s face it, they weren’t. The same people doing pull ups with a band 9 months later were not getting better. The same people who were 20% body fat and unhappy with themselves were not better, and we as coaches were to blame.  I do not mean to get on a soapbox, because I am far from perfect; but loyalty, honesty, and caring are human decencies that should be carried out on a daily basis and were not.

I am glad to be back home, I realized that I cannot fight that I am a Californian. I was glad to see people, places, and things that helped raise me. Oddly enough, when I pulled into Orange County, I drove my truck + U-Haul right to my gym, CF Costa Mesa, for my first official workout back; in the rain and all, before I saw friends and family. The people in the gym mean a lot to me. For them to welcome me back after more than a year of being away as if I had never left was great.  

However, being back home brought forth new emotions. Living close to the area in which I grew up in brought back weird memories, memories that I could not contain in my own head. I loved being back around the parents, the best friends, and the family.

This past weekend hit me particularly hard. I am one to keep many emotions and thoughts inside however the 23^rd was my best friend Bubba’s birthday. It has been since 2005 since I saw him last and there is not one day that goes by where I do not miss him. I cannot describe the feeling that overwhelms me other than I wish I could talk to him one last time. I feel for Kris, he saw him last, but I fortunately got to talk to him last. He was a good guy, he had humility, passion for life, and most of all he cared for every person he met. Easier said than done, but nonetheless I miss him dearly. He was my first friend, arguably one of my only true friends.

When I began complaining about this or that (since I have been home) his birthday weekend came up. What smacked me in the face is that I still have the ability to run, jump, lift, smile, hug, kiss, and love. Everyday might not be the best, and everyday I might not PR. But I am still breathing, I still see my loved ones, and I still get the opportunity to learn and teach.

His death has taught me not to dwell, but rather prosper and seek greatness. I am happy for the people in my life and for the people I have met for they have shaped me to the person I am today. I am constantly learning and growing, and with every person I meet, I learn something new. 

The things that really matter rarely come into our foresight, but sadly death illuminates the realities of life. Be good, be honest, cherish your loved ones, and never miss an opportunity to make someone better for that act in itself will make you better.

“The battle is won in the mind. It’s won by the guys who understand their areas of weakness, who sit and think about it, plotting and planning to improve. Attending to the detail. Work on their weaknesses and overcome them.”