I am a Large Onion, 24September2013

I am a large Onion.

Too often, too many people are fake. They say something and do another. These are the same people who try to 'lead' from the back. How can I follow what you say when you have never and will never walk the Walk? How can I follow what you say when what you do speaks thousands of decibels over what is said?

You're either a joiner or a doer. Doing defines the person, doing reflects what you believe and what you stand for. Most do what others want them to do, what the 'rest' of the population is doing; a joiner. 

Apparently in life to get along, one must put on a facade; one must sell out, not be personal or themselves, and to live for someone else. I am very young, but I missed the memo where trial and error to seek the truth and the best way was the wrong way? When did saying 'no' more often elicit a response that was followed a scowel and a distasteful relationship? When did our society value cheaters over the beauty of the journey and path taken?

 I am no saint, and will never be one, but when did honesty become the underground?

As some (maybe not, maybe all) of you know, Monarch Crossfit no longer exists. The name still lives on and can be used till next May, however the culture and atmosphere that was Monarch no longer exists as a whole. To make a really long, complicated story short, we shook the wrong hands. Too many promises unkept, bank accounts that never existed, and trust that ran out. People who used business money on personal things, time running out, and about 100 other things that happened that shouldn't, forced Monarch to be bought out by someone else, 'friends'. 

Our members said Monarch was special. Not all said it, but the others who said nothing, their tears were louder than anything they could have said. I told the people that trusted me that we would have members day 1 of opening; we had 30. I told them that we would grow 4-6/month and that would be successful; at 6 months we had X/amount of members you do the math. Success means something entirely different to me than most. It means how many people can we effect mentally/spiritually to make 'our' community better. I am not talking about someone getting a PR, that physical shit is easy. I am talking about helping a client along the way to positively leave a psychophysical imprint on their brain that allows them to better their life. In the end, our gym to the outside is picking things up and putting them down; that's it. To the inside, it is a way of life, it is an attitude and a culture. We as coaches learned from our clients, they as clients learned from themselves and us. It was a community seeking a higher value in life, not a higher value in an ego driven market.

I take full blame for what happened to Monarch; 100%. I did not do everything perfect, I did not do everything great, but with a lot help along the way, we were building a small humble space dedicated to personal growth, and self-discovery. We did not accept drama. We did not accept anybody that was unwilling to have 'will' or effort. We absolutely did not accept excuses, rather we accepted anyone willing to learn and change. Notice none of those statements regard 'elite' athletes. Those same 'elite' athletes that were reported to be all I cared about. They were 65 year old business owners with kids. They were 13 year old baseball players trying to make their freshmen team. They were me and you, average joes, trying to find out something about themselves, something dear to them and them only. People who exclude or who are tagged 'elitist' usually carry a negative flag with them. Sometimes it's warranted, but often it's ignorance by the party of judgment. That party of judgment is the same party that feels I exclude, distinguish, and discriminate. They are right. I do take part in these things, and it is for an entirely selfish reason. I do not want anyone around me that will bring me down in life. I don't want negativity, I do not want facades, and I most certainly do not want anyone who hasn't been There, to tell me how to get there. These are the same people that get their panties in a twist when I challenge them, when I tell them to put up or shut up. The same group that believes the world owes them something, that if they do not get their way they decide to hide behind something/ someone else which results in a bunch of wasted time and paper.

I make friends by excluding. Real friends, not a lot of them, but real ones. I want people around me that will make ME better, I am selfish to an extent but anyone close to me knows that I will go that extra mile for them. If one isn't authentic or have any original ideas than they need to take it elsewhere. They need to quit trying to comment, have a say, or get in. If your way is better than you need not tell me or others like me, how to 'get along'. If you can't accept what I say and find me offensive, if your feel excluded, chances are that is the reality. I fully accept that I say what many do not want to hear, and with that acceptance comes negativity. I try to be very competent in pushing aside that negativity, it does nothing for the soul except make it darker. 

Our 'group' respects discipline and hark work. We value deep relationships and honor each others insecurities aiming to improve them. The problem is hard work and commitment are not contagious, these virtues are not learned by a book or a speech. They are taught by years of uncomfortable outcomes, which many end with failure. Failure speaks of where we sit, and those who are unwilling to accept reality will make excuses for their shortcomings. At Monarch we held everyone accountable, 'elite' or not, you could not fake hard work by us. The transit does not matter. Football, martial arts, marathon runners, and businessmen  are all the same. They are seeking something higher in themselves (in our gym). Again, the transit does not matter, only the commitment undertaken followed by months if not years of dedication that matters. 

These are a few layers of the onion that is my life. I am grateful for the experiences that I go through because everyone of them teaches me something about myself, regardless of the outcome. I have been blessed to know certain people that allow me to get my feet back under me. With the loss of Monarch, a new opportunity has been given to me. The great community of Crossfit South Bay has opened a 2nd location and their arms, by giving me a humble spot to be a part and help the community grow. I will do my best to carry out what was said above.